We've already established (all over this website!) that there is no gold standard for a resume – no "magic formula" for what works. I use my years of experience in Career Development and Human Resources to help people craft resumes that capitalize on the best practices out there. My extensive hands-on experience (and behind-the-scenes knowledge) has proven very effective in helping people to navigate a confusing arena.
Despite this ambiguity, there are a handful of black and white things that we know for sure about the world of job-search documents.
A few people will like the following but most won't, so don't...
1) ...use graphics or an overly-designed resume.
2) ...use color.
3) ...list hobbies/interests (unless they are asked for).
4) ...rely on responsibilities (i.e. copy your job description).
5) ...forgo sharp bullets in favor of bulky paragraphs.
6) ...veer away from implied first person.
7) ...insert many articles (a / an / the).
8) ...skip a cover letter (unless asked to).
9) ...include a picture, birthdate, marital status, etc. for positions in the US and Canada.
10) ...provide more than about 10 years of professional experience.
Again, some people undoubtedly will like some or all of these conventions but most will not.
You want/need your resume to appeal to a broad array of people, not only to people who think exactly as you do. Plus, you'll likely have to contend with automated screening systems (which are traditionally tripped up by design and graphics).